theicebreak is a service that helps you track, analyze, and enjoy your romantic relationship.
How does theicebreak work?
It focuses on improving three key aspects of relationship: communication, engagement, and affection. All of the activities on theicebreak are designed to enhance one or more of these.
Does my partner have to join the site for me to use it?
No. You can track your Stats without any input from your partner (they can't see your answers anyway), and you can send Icebreakers and Moments to your partner as long as they have an email address. If they later decide to join the site, the Icebreakers you've answered and the Moments you've sent will show up on their Relationship Wall.
What You Can Do on theicebreak
What are Icebreakers?
Icebreakers are questions designed to spark conversation between you and your partner. You can answer them and send your answers to each other privately, as well as see anonymous responses from other couples.
How do I answer an Icebreaker question privately?
On the website, check the "Make private to everyone else" check box underneath the box where you type your answer. If you are replying to an Icebreaker email, just type "Private" right at the beginning of your answer, and it will be just between you and your partner.
What are Moments?
Moments are a way to share a bit of your day while you're apart from each other. Use our prompts or your own imagination to capture something that catches your attention, then send a message or a photo to your sweetie and make a connection. All of your moments are saved on a shared wall that only you two can see, creating an online scrapbook of your relationship that you can enjoy later.
What are Stats?
theicebreak asks you to rate your satisfaction with a few key areas of your relationship each week. Your answers over time can help you see how you're doing compared to previous weeks and to the stats of similar couples.
How do my Stats get created?
They're calculated based on the weekly survey that you complete.
How do I earn Date Night Coins?
You earn them by capturing Moments, answering Icebreakers and updating your weekly status.
What can I do with Date Night Coins?
Right now, it's all about saving them up. We're working to create partnerships so that you can eventually trade them in for fun rewards you and your partner can share, like movie tickets or gifts. More info
Help with Specific Issues
I tried to add my partner, but they already have an account with a different email address. How do we connect our accounts?
Go to the Account dropdown in the upper right corner.
Click on the Edit Vitals link.
Scroll down to the About Your Relationship section and click Remove to break the connection to the wrong email address.
You will end up back at the home page. In the Relationship Vitals section on the right side, click the Invite link to connect your account to the email address your partner registered with.
Once your partner confirms, you can start sharing Icebreakers and Moments! :-)
A Bit More Philosophical
Why would I want to answer Icebreakers? Shouldn't couples just talk to each other?
Yes, of course couples should be talking to each other! :-) Icebreakers are meant to encourage couples to talk more, not less. People have busy lives, though, and a little nudge can help get a conversation started. Couples also sometimes find it hard to talk about their positive emotions in person (even people who are in good relationships), so our hope is that the Icebreaker questions spark face-to-face talks that create meaningful connection, and some sweet moments too.
Icebreakers can also encourage couples to share things with each other that they may not often think or talk about. You might not have "qualities that I admire about my parents, that my partner also shares" top of mind every day, for example, but answering the question may help you see how your connection to your partner is rooted in those qualities. You may also start to wonder what qualities your partner similarly sees in you, and if you talk about it later, have a better understanding of your relationship.
Do analytics and stats really help?
We think they can help—couples haven't had an easy way to track this kind of information before, so it's a bit of an experiment. We'd love feedback on whether you find them useful or not. On average, though, couples who end up in couples therapy have been having problems for 5-6 years before they seek out a counselor. Having a way to see small problems earlier may be a way to nip them in the bud before they become so big that professional help is needed.
Stats are also not just for seeing problems; they're a way to see what's going well, too. Most importantly, they're a way of seeing how the relationship measures up what the people in it want for themselves.