Icebreakers
Find out what's on your partner's mind, share what's on yours, and get insights from other couples. We ask what you might not think to.
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What used to be exciting in your relationship that is now humdrum and normal?
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Dates, nothing seems to be excitign about them anymore we go to the same places everytime and do the same things over and over again.
Sleeping in the same bed.
No, when ever she comes over we expect it to be calm and normal but it always ends up being very exciting!
We used to go grocery shopping together, and it was a nice and intimate experience. Now we go separately, so it's not as sweet.
I don't know about humdrum (that seems too harsh), but I fondly remember lots of long talks in the early days, and it seems like we don't have time or inclination for them much. Part of it's that we know each other so much better now, though...maybe we just need to keep going on long walks. They always seem to happen more then. :-)
I feel the same way in my relationship. I wonder if it is just the natural course of things? Not bad or good, just "is."
Female, 41-50 years, Dating, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
Female, 41-50 years, Dating, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
I think to some extent it is. I think love and even the feeling of "in love" can grow over time, but maintaining that initial level of high excitement is pretty much impossible, not to mention exhausting. However, it's important to make a distinction between kind of settling in with each other vs. getting complacent and bored. I miss the walks and talks, but I'm rarely bored. Hopefully she feels the same. :-)
Female, >50 years, Domestically Partnered, Gay, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
Female, >50 years, Domestically Partnered, Gay, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
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Speaking on skype as and when we can. Now it's too difficult to talk all the time.
Drive
everything..you begin to normalize everything and stop going out to new places or actually "having dates". It's almost like being married
Normalize is a good word for that relationship evolution, and what happens after a period of time. Things are never exaggerated on either end, but instead more neutral in the middle.
Female, 41-50 years, Dating, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
Female, 41-50 years, Dating, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
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Everything :/
We used to have more free time to drop in an surprise each other at random times, or stay out super late with each other. We don't do this as much as we used to, we still do when we can, but a lot of that energy has been replaced with the building excitement of our wedding planning :) In my opinion it's almost an even trade off :)
Sex before I had my second child was exciting but became a chore after. I wish I had the energy
To really enjoy and get into making love the way I used to. I think for You it is our conversation. I don't think youj like talking to me anymore. But at the begining of our raltionship you were much more interested by ideas.
To really enjoy and get into making love the way I used to. I think for You it is our conversation. I don't think youj like talking to me anymore. But at the begining of our raltionship you were much more interested by ideas.
Well talking to you you has become much harder because of the way we communicate. In the beginning, itw was like you respected my ideas, input because you had something to learn from me. Now - i think you devalue what i say 0 whether it is spiritual advice, information or just trying to solve a problem for you.
Male, >50 years, Married, TX, US | Nov 01, 2011
Male, >50 years, Married, TX, US | Nov 01, 2011
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Texting, I remember holding my phone all day anxiously waiting for every text from her, butterflies in my stomach everytime the phone beeped. Now our texts are pretty mundane.
Nothing ... We won't allow it. Everything in life is a choice .. including your attitude. You can choose to let things become humdrum, or not. I choose not to.
Really enjoyed reading your comment. Very insightful. Would be great if more people in relationships had this attitude about attitude.
Female, 41-50 years, Dating, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
Female, 41-50 years, Dating, CA, US | Nov 01, 2011
I agree. My fiance and I don't let things get stagnant. We have regular date nights, but do different things, some days we talk a lot, some days we talk a normal amount. We have our own made up rituals we have, we don't stop dating each other, we find new ways and reasons for appreciating each other. We also have our own friends. He has his boys I have my girls and we have our couple/married friends. I think that keeps everything fresh :)
Female, 41-50 years, Engaged | Nov 21, 2011
Female, 41-50 years, Engaged | Nov 21, 2011
Totally agreed!
Female, 41-50 years, Dating | Nov 30, 2011
Female, 41-50 years, Dating | Nov 30, 2011
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Haha the sneaking around sex ahahah
Visiting each other
